Rules and Regulations

Community Guidelines

A safe space to connect, share and be understood

Welcome to The White Butterfly Foundation Online Community.

This community has been created for bereaved parents, by bereaved parents — a place where you can connect with people who understand something of the world you are navigating.
Baby loss is not one experience. Our stories, circumstances, relationships, grief and ways of coping can be very different. You may find people whose experience feels very similar to yours and others whose journey is completely different.
There is no hierarchy of grief here. No loss is more deserving of compassion than another.
To protect this community and the people within it, we ask every member to agree to the following guidelines.

1. Be Kind. Always.
Behind every profile is a real person carrying a real story.
Please communicate with compassion and respect, even when someone’s experience, beliefs, choices or way of grieving differs from your own.
Discrimination, bullying, harassment, personal attacks, shaming or deliberately hurtful behaviour will not be tolerated.

2. Every Loss Matters
This community supports people across the baby-loss experience, including miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, TFMR, second-trimester loss, stillbirth, neonatal loss and other experiences of pregnancy or baby loss.
Please never compare losses or suggest that one type of loss, gestation or circumstance is more or less significant than another.
Grief is personal. It does not need to be justified here.

3. Protect Each Other’s Privacy
What is shared within this community must be treated as confidential.

Please do not:
screenshot another member’s post, photograph or comment;
copy or forward conversations outside the community;
share another member’s story on social media;
identify another member or discuss their circumstances outside the community without their permission.
You are, of course, free to share your own story wherever and whenever you choose.
While we ask every member to respect confidentiality, The White Butterfly Foundation cannot guarantee that another member will not breach these rules. Please consider this when sharing highly personal information.

4. Some Content Can Be Difficult to Read
Baby loss can involve traumatic and distressing experiences.
Members should feel able to talk honestly about what happened to them. However, please consider others when sharing particularly sensitive details.
Where appropriate, begin your post with a Content Note (CN) or Trigger Warning (TW).
This may include posts discussing:
graphic medical details;
traumatic birth or loss experiences;
photographs that some members may find difficult;
pregnancy announcements;
living children or new babies;
pregnancy after loss;
fertility treatment or trying to conceive;
termination for medical reasons;
suicide, self-harm or severe emotional distress.
A trigger warning isn’t about silencing anyone. It simply gives another bereaved parent the choice about whether they feel able to read something at that moment.

5. Pregnancy, Babies & Living Children
We know that pregnancy after loss, trying to conceive and parenting after loss can be complicated and emotional parts of the baby-loss journey.
We also know these conversations can be incredibly painful for someone else.
Please use the appropriate community area wherever one is available and add a content note when discussing pregnancy announcements, scans, births or living children in general community spaces.
You are not being asked to hide your joy. We are simply asking everyone to hold space for someone else’s grief alongside it.

6. Share Your Experience — Not Medical Advice
Members are welcome to talk about their own experiences of treatment, pregnancy, miscarriage, fertility, birth, medication and healthcare.
However, please do not diagnose another member, tell them to start or stop medication, or present personal experience as medical fact.
Where someone has concerns about their physical or mental health, they should be encouraged to speak with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.

7. This Community Does Not Replace Therapy or Healthcare
The White Butterfly Foundation Online Community provides peer connection and support.
It is not a replacement for counselling, psychotherapy, medical care, emergency mental-health support or professional healthcare advice.
Participation in this community does not create a therapist-client relationship between members and The White Butterfly Foundation or its therapists.
Where additional support may be helpful, our team may encourage a member to access appropriate professional services.

8. Safeguarding Comes Before Confidentiality
We respect members’ privacy, but there may be exceptional circumstances where our team needs to act.
If something shared within the community gives us serious reason to believe that a person or child is at immediate risk of significant harm, we may need to take appropriate safeguarding action.
Where possible and appropriate, we will aim to communicate with the member concerned.

9. If You Are in Immediate Danger
This community is not monitored as an emergency or crisis service.
If you believe you or someone else is in immediate danger, please contact the emergency services or an appropriate crisis/healthcare service rather than waiting for a response within the community.

10. Respect Boundaries & Private Messages
Being part of the same community does not automatically give permission to contact someone privately.
If private messaging is available, please respect another member’s boundaries.
Repeated unwanted messages, sexual or inappropriate messages, requests for money, harassment or attempts to pressure another member into communicating privately should be reported to the moderation team.

11. No Selling, Fundraising or Promotion Without Permission
Please do not use the community to:
advertise businesses or services;
sell products;
recruit clients;
promote events or other groups;
request donations;
create fundraising campaigns;
repeatedly promote social-media accounts.
If you believe a resource or service could genuinely benefit members, please contact The White Butterfly Foundation team before posting it.

12. Please Don’t Share Other People’s Personal Information
Do not post identifying or confidential information about another person without their permission.
When discussing partners, relatives, healthcare professionals or other people involved in your story, consider whether names or identifying details are necessary.

13. Different Experiences. Different Opinions.
Grief can affect relationships, friendships, families, faith, identity and how we see the world.
Members will not always agree.
That’s okay.
Healthy discussion is welcome. Personal attacks are not.
You can disagree with someone’s perspective while still respecting the person behind it.

14. Moderation
The White Butterfly Foundation reserves the right to moderate content to protect the safety and purpose of the community.
Our moderation team may:
add or request a content warning;
move a post to a more appropriate area;
remove inappropriate or harmful content;
contact a member privately;
temporarily restrict an account;
suspend or permanently remove a member where necessary.
Where possible, we will aim to resolve concerns compassionately and proportionately.
However, serious breaches — including harassment, threats, discriminatory abuse, deliberate breaches of confidentiality or behaviour that places another member at risk — may result in immediate removal.

15. If Something Doesn’t Feel Right, Tell Us
You do not have to challenge another member yourself.
If a post, comment, message or interaction concerns you, please use the Report function or contact the White Butterfly Foundation team.
Reporting something doesn’t automatically mean someone will be removed. It simply allows our team to review what has happened and decide whether support or action is needed.

Our Community Promise
We cannot promise that this community will always be easy.
Grief isn’t easy.
There will be conversations that are emotional. There may be stories that remind you of your own. There will be people at different stages of their journey.
But we can promise to work hard to create a community built around compassion, connection, dignity and understanding.
You never have to explain why your baby mattered here.
They simply did. And they always will.

Before joining
By selecting “I Agree”, you confirm that you have read and agree to follow these Community Guidelines and understand that serious or repeated breaches may result in your access to the community being restricted or removed.

The White Butterfly Foundation
For bereaved parents, by bereaved parents.